Terry Ryan must really enjoy Dallas liquor, because it seems he has been getting George W. drunk every day during the winter meetings. Well, at least that is what I can gather from the last two deals that he has made.
The other GMs must have stocked Ryan’s mini-fridge full of fine liquor to welcome him back to full-time duties. They probably did it out of the kindness of their hearts, not realizing Ryan does not want the full time gig so he drank himself stupid. Or maybe he just learned by osmosis from the Bill Smith era? Whatever the reason, someone needs to save Terry Ryan from himself, or the bottle, pretty soon.
His first recent deal was signing arguably the worst closer on the free agent market, who luckily pitched for the Twins last year – Matt Capps. Yes, Capps ended the year with a 1.20 WHIP and an ERA under 5, but for those of us that have followed Capps since he came up with Pittsburgh, we know he is like Newt Gingrich. Both have come up with praise with a bright future, and both have burnt out quickly. But while Gingrich thankfully disappeared for a decade, Capps resurrected his career a bit faster in Washington, coincidentally.
Capps once again used his slightly above-average fastball to make the All-Star game for the Nationals, and that was enough to fool the Twins into giving up a top-prospect catcher for him. Luckily, Capps was decent for the Twins as a closer in 2010, but the warning signs were there. Once the hitters got the reports on Capps, that slightly above-average fastball became hittable.
Capps’ stint as closer in 2011 for the Twins lasted longer than it should have, just like Gingrich’s bid for President in 2012 the first-time around. Luckily, both collapsed and it looked like the end of prominence for both. Yes, Capps would find a middle-relief job somewhere, and Gingrich would probably find a soul-sucking lobbyist job somehow since he is the 1%. But that is not how things went. Both men got second chances because Ryan is drunk and the Republican party is still the same idiots that chose Sarah Palin as a vice presidential candidate.
Ryan signed Capps to a one-year deal worth $4.75 million with an option for a second year to be Minnesota’s closer in 2012. The buyout for the second year is $250,000. Someone might want to remind Ryan of that after his hangover to start saving $250,000 for next year. Gingrich is on his second run for President in 2012 and is apparently the front-runner in some polls. Both will probably crash and burn in 2012, since that is how their careers go. Unfortunately, both are surrounded by enough idiots in high places not to know any better.
The next day, Ryan went out and traded Kevin Slowey, which I have no problem with, except for how it went down. Colorado has been interested in Slowey for two years, but a trade has never been worked out. Ryan finally gave in to his whiskey courage and just gave Slowey to the Rockies for a player to be named. OK, Slowey was awful last year, like “New Year’s Eve” movie awful. Seriously, that movie just pisses me off.
So I was not sad to see Slowey go, and he did not have much value. Until Wednesday, when I saw Colorado traded Huston Street to the San Diego Padres. The Rockies were so desperate to get rid of Street, they traded him to a division rival. Did Ryan not ask about Street, because the Twins have their own deep pile of crap in the bullpen?
You would think Ryan would find a way to package Slowey to Colorado for Street, since the Rockies got a player to be named and cash for Street. No actual player. So Ryan could not have said Slowey, a player to be named and cash for Street? I mean, why not give Capps the opportunity to have some competition since he is one of the worst closers in baseball?
But no, Ryan is so drunk that Capps’ 15 saves look like 51, and his 4.20 ERA looks like 2.40 right now, and Colorado jumped on it and got a cheap, probably crappy, pitcher for nothing.
Plus, look at the market out there for relievers. Capps is a type A free agent. Some team like the Mets or some other crazy team would have signed him and the Twins would have gotten an extra draft pick for him. But no, the Twins decide Capps is more valuable than a first-round pick. Hey, with who Terry Ryan drafted in the early to mid-2000s, maybe he is right. But you still take the draft pick!
Plus, Jonathan Broxton signed a $4-million deal with Kansas City to be a set-up man. He may not be the greatest closer, but he could have been had by Minnesota for less than Capps to be a closer and he has a lot more potential. Plus, with the extra draft pick of letting Capps go, the Twins could have signed Francisco Codero, Ryan Madson or Kerry Wood for slightly more and would have the extra pick to give up for one of them.
I still think the Twins should have gone after Street if they were going to trade with the Rockies. Heck, Andrew Bailey is out there on the trade market, too. Sergio Santos of the White Sox just got traded for cheap. The market for closers is apparently a big drop off after Papelbon and Heath Bell, who both signed big deals. Heck, I would even take Joe Nathan for $7.5 million.
But no, Terry Ryan is too busy basking in his mini-bar fridge getting a tan and downing Mai-Tais to realize that. Unfortunately that has left Twins fans stuck with a crappy rotation still, a crappy bullpen and a bad closer for 2012.
Sorry Joe Mauer, Minnesota can’t move Target Field’s fences in because any closer and Matt Capps would give up a home run during every appearance. Touch them all in the ninth, well if the Twins even have leads by then.
'Sota Sports 